I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this any more.

 

I've stolen that famous line from the movie Network because Devil Rays fans are getting hosed, first by their cable provider and then one of the stations that broadcasts their games in alleged high definition.

 

Because the wonderful, know-it-all Federal Communications Commission has yet to define what exactly is HD (TV sets are sold to receive 1080i or 1080p, the purest form of the perfect picture), a signal sent out at 720 lines can also be passed off as hi-def. Strange but true.

 

Some stations, cable or over-the-air, use the 720 for sports because it is more adaptable to the fast action. I have watched it on ESPN or FOX and find it far superior to the quality I get on my "old" analog sets. Anything over analog is like going from black and white to color or mono to stereo.

 

And on the subject of audio, it has made the leap from the plain old two speaker sound to the rich five channel Dolby 5.1 and anyone who has sat in front of a true 1080i monitor with Dolby 5.1 blaring from all directions, they think they are right in the middle of the action.

 

High-def took a while to get here and now that it is, it is addictive. I keep begging for more stations who will broadcast at the very minimum 720 or blast me away in 1080. Discovery HD is at the max and if that one station doesn't grab you then I suggest you make an appointment with the eye doctor.

 

With a brief HD lesson out of the way, it is time to focus on the cable companies. They clearly hold the monopoly on you watching TV like never before.

 

Before you get that first image on your new wide screen set, this is how your bill could look. It is from Bright House Networks and off my personal bill:

 

$9.95 - DVR Service (Basic HD services with TiVO-like capabilities)

$6.95 - HD-DVR Smart Box rental

-----------

$16.90

 

Those two figures are in addition to all other services you get from the cable outlet and if you are one of those people who want to end the rental of the box, well forget it.

 

Most boxes are manufactured by Scientific Atlanta and they do not sell to the public.

 

In addition, that $16.90 gets you many of the over-the-air stations, some not even broadcasting in HD, and a few cable stations like a time-share of Versus and the Golf Channel (Tiger Woods to Rodeo? What's up with that?), and endless stream of repeated music shows that can go from Green Day to the Dixie Chicks (do they actually have a program director?), A&E (some great shows), TNT, Discovery and the Bright House HD channels for sports.

 

Now if you want to get ESPN and ESPN2 in HD, that is on another tier (fork over another $6.00) and for the tidy sum of $22.90 per month, you can get everything.

 

I have always been from the school that is your are going to screw me at least kiss me first. I constantly get the former while I will go to my grave devoid of the latter.

 

Don't get me wrong. Bright House has always provided me with nearly always-on service in the decade I have been with them so it is not the service I am after. What I am after is the quality for the money I pay. Which brings me around to the title of this column.

 

For twenty-cents short of $275.00 per year I get to watch Devil Rays games that ION-66 calls high-definition, which is nothing more than a grainy 480 standard signal that has been stretched so badly that everyone playing that night should visit their nearest Vic Tanny salon (Tanny was a body builder and health club pioneer who passed in 1985).

 

Before the make believe HD, watching a Rays game on PAX or I-Network or the now ION channel made me think I was back in the day of the rabbit ears and aluminum foil tips. To steal another line it was back in my childhood where I heard "Fuzzy Wuzzy was a Bear," funny for kids but not amusing for the TV watcher of the 21st century.

 

Since obtaining the over-the-air rights to Rays games, channel 66 has broadcast an inferior signal, and that does not include the occasional glitches that had you watching one of their network shows instead of the baseball.

 

I went right to the source, FSN Florida, and was told the same signal that is broadcast on their channel is the same as what was being sent to 66, whatever the catch-name was.

 

Obviously not interested in having the proper equipment "just" to do a few hours off their network schedule every few days or so, 66 simply pumped out the inferior signal.

 

Let's also be clear about something. FSN Florida nor Bright House should be held responsible for this, however, my question to Bright House back then and ironically these days was, doesn't anyone monitor this stuff?

 

Once ION-66 decided to go "high-def," Rays fans rejoiced thinking they would be getting about double the 39 FSN was scheduled to do. Sadly, ION, like the FCC has not figured out the math:

480-576, Standard

480-576 Progressive, Enhanced

720-1080, High Definition.

 

I had a rather lengthy conversation with a Bright House supervisor and he completely understood my frustration even saying there are a lot of people who feel the same but do not pick up the phone. Unfortunately it all came back to ION-66 and their responsibility to uplink the HD signal.

 

It appears that my chat with Bright House did not fall on deaf ears because Saturday's broadcast was cleaner than ever before. Sadly, it was not an HD telecast but a repeat of the stretched out make believe version.

 

Want a clue how to spot ION's faux-HD? The score bar across the top was the length of the screen. Stations that do 720 or 1080 will have a shorter bar because it has to fit on standard definition televisions.

 

As a consumer you have the right to complain when you are paying for something, promised that it will be delivered in proper aspect and having it appear as if gremlins are at the controls.

 

It is said "Don't Kill the Messenger" when one blames the person who brings bad news but Bright House Networks and all other cable providers allow stations like ION to get away with this nonsense. By putting up an HD schedule of games when they know in fact it is not, they are as culpable as the person who perpetuates this fraud.

 

Speak up by calling Bright House. Write them. E-mail them. Be a pest. Call them after each fake game. Make them uncomfortable.

 

The only way to correct something is to put on the pressure. You have a voice. Use it. Otherwise you remain the doormat for the rich and powerful.

 

Anyone remember David and Goliath?